just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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