Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
