OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize