Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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