I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
