remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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