i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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