your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What a dumb baby whore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
