Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
40s are totally the cure
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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