GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
