bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
