STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
