I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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