My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
