I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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