I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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