Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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