I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
