just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
