Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
