I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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