glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
