I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize