So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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