I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
