I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
