ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he thought i was a dude.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What happened to fro yo and sex?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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