apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
