So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
