If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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