Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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