it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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