On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
