he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
