We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
