I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
What changed your mind?
Being sober
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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