I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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