"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
