I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
