O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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