Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
