Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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