I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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