The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
