Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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