Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
