I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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