still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You need a sexual gate keeper
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
