Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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