Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
