True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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