Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
