True but thats because hes a fetus.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
