you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just high enough for therapy.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
