I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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