apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
